Imagine this, just for a moment. A girl, through some strange circumstances, has not ever stepped outside. Nor seen outside. Ever. She has read about it, and knows what everything is called, but has never seen it in real life.

I run down the hall, my heart beating in my chest. I have barely escaped. I pull open the door, that I know leads to the out doors. I open it, and am in a garage. I know this, because there is a car, that looks exactly like the one in the pictures. And it is messy, filled with bikes, and tools. The garage door, the big one that cars go through, is part way open, and light from what I assume is the sun is coming in. I walk slowly, looking at my bare feet. They warm up, as I pass the line of darkness. I keep walking slowly, marveling in the feeling of light. Light has feeling. I duck under the door, and for the first time in all 14 years of my life, I am completely bathed in golden sunlight, breathing in fresh air, hearing the outside noises. I am outside. I stand there, my back against the garage door, my eyes open wide. I see the sun, the trees, the grass, the deep, open, impossible blue sky. There are birds in the air, and the wind. The wind is amazing. Blowing softly, pushing my hair to a fro, with a mind of its own. Like some invisible force, with a mind of its own. The gravel of the drive way is hard on my feet. I look at the sun. In my first 30 seconds outside, I find that no drawing, no book, can truly give justice to what the outside is like. The sun is magnificent, so big, so bright, so warm. The wind is alive, the world is alive. The sky is so deep blue. I can't see the end of it. There are shouts and screams of children. I look, to make sure they are alright. They are chasing each other, running in circles. Playing. There is a gentle hum in the distance. Never ending, just there. It must be where cars are. I explore with my eyes, drinking it in. Questioning, wondering, understanding everything. Colors are so much more vibrant. They have a quality of life to them. Standing in the sun, for the first time in my life, I understand what it is to live, and to be free.



Well, that's all. Bye!

beautiful sunny days, and bug bites`

I'm at the Watts house, and just got out of the pool. I am coming down with a cold :P But, we are having so much fun. I would love to go into detail, but that would take hours. But we have had fun, doing crazy stuff, like carrying 37 foot trees, and making songs, and running around, and swimming, and having water fights. Julie and Sheryl leave tomorrow. I wish they could stay forever. But this whole month has been exuasting. I am always ready for change. But I wish that the Carlsons could stay forever. I have learned so much about myself so far this summer. I have learned more about my cousins. I have learned to let go, and let live. To help more.

Grandpa is still in the hospital. Mom has been really sad about it. If I cry, I want to cry in private. So I have cried a little, but mostly when I am alone. All us cousins prayed for Grandpa one day. Nathan prayed that dad would know its OK to cry. I think it is strange in some way, that we were all so suprised that Grandpa is sick. Everyone dies. Everyone gets old, and has troubles. You must all think I am heartless, the way I am talking about it. Really, I am not. It doesn't seem real to me I guess. We all are born, live life to the best we can. We do things, we accomplish little goals, and big goals. We live each day, appreciating the things in it. Little moments, small happinesses, and sadness. When you look at one week, or a month, it seems to much. Don't let the big picture overwhelm you. I wake up every morning. And live it. And my life will pass. And I might not change the world. But I will live it. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. And I will die. I wonder what I will leave behind me. What my "legacy" will be.

Well, it's dinner time. So I gotta go.

well . . . .
Bye!!

-Katie