I'm not sure what to call this

I want to tell you a story. It is very sad.

My Grandpa is having trouble with his right hand. He can't sign his name very well. And his speech is slurred. This is all the result of brain surgery. He has been better, but the past few days haven't been very good. Today is Grandma and Grandpa's 48th wedding anniversary.

I was at their house, and Grandma was gone, when he got up to do his exercises. It consists of playing with putty, and using building blocks, ect. He realized that he had left his anniversary gift at the office, so he called and was talking to Miss Kate, telling her where it was. She found it, and was describing it to him. "It's a box, in a Johnson Jewelers bag, it looks like it is a bracelet, and has gold ribbon on it." Grandpa said "yes, that must be it. You can bring it over, and if it isn't the right one, you can run back and look again." I found that funny. You know, Grandpa has tons of Jewelry bags behind his desk. She brought it over, and, it was the right one.

He went and found the card he had got for her. It was very sweet. He got out his big crayons, that are easier for him to hold, and signed his name, Love Gene. It was like a 3 year olds signature. Messy and big. Then, with the same red crayon, he wrote Sylvia on the envelope, and From Gene. I have seen a lot of really sad things recently. But seeing Grandpa sign his name, and his barely readable signature. That made me almost cry. Because 48 years later, he still loves grandma, and he loves her so much, he had the forethought to buy her a anniversary gift 3 weeks before his anniversary, and signed it, even though it is barely readable.

Life has so much more than feeling sorry for yourself. So live life. And live it to the glory of God.

LOOK AT MY NEW BACKROUND!!

I'm trying out this new background. IT is really happy!! :D

May God give me the strength . . .

Real quickly, totally unrelated to my previous post:
My Grandpa is having brain surgery tomorrow morning at 8:00. Please pray that he will do well, that God will guide the surgeon's hands, that Grandma will be alright, and that God will give us all strength.


Thanks!
-KT

10 hard things.

So, on the way home from dance last night, I had this great story idea. This girl has a dream, and in the dream, she almost dies. Just before she dies, 10 images flash infront of her. Different people, different things she had done wrong. The next morning, she got up, and fixed them. Appologized to the people. ect. ect. I can just imagine the little description on the back of the book.
"Caroline Stuart had 10 things to finish. 10 things that if she died, would be left, hurting people, leaving them broken. After her dream that night, she had to go and finish them. Them all. Even the hard ones. Through a broken road of tears, friends, and people she has hurt, Caroline finds that love is beautiful, God is great, and friends are irreplacable."

Sounds great. I was really excited about this idea, thinking about it, putting real life examples into it. I was thinking about 10 things I would want to change. At first, I didn't think I would be able to find 10. But I was surprised as the kept adding up. And then, I realized I should do it. Do 10 really hard things. Apologize to people I have wronged, fix things.

As we kept driving, I realized the first one I should do. The most important one. OH man. This is gonna be hard. The first one, is God.

Thing One:

I say I am saved. But I don't really act that way. I am such a sinner! That moment, in the car, I fixed my eye on a star, and prayed. I didn't plead with God to save me. I just said that I wanted to do God's will, and I wanted to live as a christian. Help me Lord. Without you, I can do nothing. I can't just say, "OK, one hard thing done." I have to keep going. You guys, pray for me. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a christian. But today it dawned on me. I can't just WAIT for my "christan-ness" to suddenly grow, and bloom out of me. I have to pray, and actually try. Sweat and tears. "Lord God, please help me to grow in you, put inside me a eager desire to love you, to worship you, and to obey me. I have knocked on the door. Please, open it."

I'm thinking of these 10 hard things. I am cringing already, at how hard this is going to be. It isn't 10 hard things. It is 10 really really really really really really really really really really really hard things. I know, that with God as my strength, I can do it. The things might surprise you. They aren't all related to people.

Please pray for me. Pray that I will worship God, obey Him, be a shining light in the world, and be strong and true as I fix these 10 things, that to a normal person may look minor, but really, are things that I should have tried to fix a long time ago.
-Katie Claire

P.S. (I am NOT saying that I ONLY have 10 things I need to fix. I know I have many many many many more sins)

and for some reason, I wanted to cry

Friday:
At the Northwest church, 45 minuets before our big Fire and Ice performance, Susan gets us all warming up. We play follow the leader. Out of the woodwork, from their chairs, the balcony, the stage, the hallway, girls and boys dressed in their costumes start running. We look like a army of colorful kids, running in time to awesome music.

7:30 our performance starts. Elaina and I are helping line up all the kids. We get them in their line for their performance, and send them on stage with a smile, and last whispered instructions. I try not to be to bossy. It's is nice to keep my mind occupied, before our dance.

Line up Senior company. Line up little kids. Line up Senior company again. Line up teen company. Line up senior company. Finally, line up ourselves. Young teen company. All 16 of us. We walk up back stage. The dance before us is ending. This is the worst part. I feel like I could throw up. Last minuet dress checks, and then we start to walk on. I take a deep breath and straighten my shoulders just before the hot stage lights light me up. Magicaly, I'm not nervous. It's awkward, just standing there, until the music starts. And then we start dancing. And I smile, because it is so much fun.


Monday, Memorial Day:
We have a 30 minuet performance. I line the kids up again. We dance our dance. The whole performance is fun. I love lining people up. Everytime Senior company comes backstage from their performances, Mary Beth looks like she has been crying. After 8 years of dancing with Fire and Ice, she deserves to cry at her farewell performance. The last song. I am basically crying for Mary Beth, and Kirsten, and all the girls who I barely know, but are dancing for the last time. The song ends. Senior company comes back. And we all leave. Just like that. This season of Fire and Ice Irish Dance Company performances is over. We meet our parents, they tell us how amazing we were, but we are all quiet. And I still feel like crying. Crying for all the girls who are done, crying for the end of our performing season.

Now, I know. I can't not dance. I never have LOVED dance. But I do now. I wanna get into senior company. And dance like Mary Beth, and Elizabeth, and all those really good girls. I want to dance forever, and deserve to cry when I am done. So I dance.

I look back on the dance year. I know that there are several girls in my class who don't like me very much. If I could start over doing that class, I would do it so differently. I would act like myself. Not someone else. I would be friendly, not standoffish. All those friday evenings I spent dancing, when my family was at home watching a movie. All those sleep overs I could have had, that didn't work out because of dance. All those events I missed. Well, it's basically over Katie. Was it worth it?

I love to perform. I love to dance. I love to shine. Even with the missed friday evenings, the hard work, the girls there that seemed to hate me at first. I would do it all over again. I would do it all over again. Just to dance. Just to perform. Just to be there.

So yes, I will do Fire and Ice next year. I will dance next year. And it will be amazing, and I will dance. That's all I need to say. I will dance.

and for some reason, I wanted to cry