See with your heart

So this morning I have been thinking about being blind. Losing your sight would be a very scary, terrifying thing. I am going to write about being blind. Right here. You all be my critics. Pretend it is me who is blind, in the same family, all the same things. Ok, here it goes.

I'm blind. No sight. Nothing. For the first time I have to rely completely on my other senses. You hear people talk about being blind. Your hearing gets sharper they say. Your smell better. That isn't completely true. I just listen more. I want to listen more. I can hear Nathan, when he walks with his stomping gait across the floor. I can even tell the twins apart by their walk, their breathing, their voice. I got in a car crash three months ago. Something hit me in the head, and when I woke up in the hospital a few hours later, I couldn't see. It's a small price to pay. The other driver was killed. I'll never see the other driver.

When we got back from the hospital, I decided I wouldn't act like a invalid. You know how in books, some people go into a downward spiral of pity. I refuse to do that. I won't even begin. What bothers me most, is the way my family is treating me. The first week was the worst. They were trying to treat e different. Telling me where everything is, guiding me, asking if they could help me. I appreciate their concern, but I need to be able to do this on my own. Finally, I exploded. "I'm not any different that I was a week ago! Stop treating me like I'm glass." We talked it out, and now they treat me normal. Nathan and the twins even try and sneak up on me when I am sitting down somewhere. But I can always here them. Nathan can't walk quietly to save his life. A lot of things I can't do anymore. Like read, and see the stars, or even se my family. But I can still feel the sun on my face, the rain on my skin. I listen to books a lot. Then, yesterday before Bethany went to school she suggested I try typing. It isn't that hard actually. I can feel when I have made a mistake, but I just leave it. I'll let someone else fix it later.

I can tell where I am in the house, or outside in our yard. Maybe it has helped living here for Fourteen years, but I can walk anywhere fairly confidently. Sometimes, I let my hand brush against the side of the wall to guide me. Nathan says I look so confident, he sometimes forgets I am blind. The Watts house is easy to navigate also. I know it all so well. School is a lot of listening. I listen in class, and if it is possible say the problems out loud. When we go out in public, I use a walking stick to navigate. I can't see the people staring at me, and I know they do. I used to do it. They can't see me I would think. But, how wrong I was! I can feel their gaze. I know they are watching me. But it doesn't bother me. Someday, one of them might go blind, and then they would understand. Close your eyes for just a minuet. Pretend you are blind. Listen to everything around you. What can you hear? I can hear the ticking of a clock, Nathan Allison and Sarah in the family room playing. The oven timer is beeping. MJ is sitting on the table. I can hear her opening a book. She's talking about it, and I am listening with half a year. I can hear my own breathing. I can hear the freeway in the back ground. A airplane flies overhead.

I will never see again. But I can still see. With my fingers, my ears, and I can tell the pain, sorrow, happiness, anything behind someone's voice. I understand more than I ever did when I could see. Being blind didn't make me loose my sight. I gained it. I can see better than I ever could before. And now I am typing for the first time, and sharing the story of blindness with everyone else.



Well, I'm not really blind;) I did type most of that with my eyes closed though. Well, have a nice week everyone!